5 Things I Would Do Differently
If I Was Starting My Motherhood Journey Now
Motherhood is a transformative journey,
filled with joy, challenges, and endless learning. Reflecting on my own experiences, there are several things I would do differently if I were to start my motherhood journey again.
These changes have helped me grow, find balance, and truly enjoy motherhood. Here are five key lessons I learned along the way.
Rest More
When Lily, our oldest, was born, I took everything too seriously. I was determined to do it all—keep the house clean, keep the clothes ironed, and maintain control over everything.
But in the process, I forgot to care for myself.
I put myself last on the list, which meant I never had the energy or time to rest. I didn’t bother to dress up nicely or take time to sit down and relax. The little time Lily spent sleeping (she was a poor sleeper with 20-40 minute naps) I used for cleaning, organizing, and cooking.
If I could go back, I would prioritize rest.
Allowing myself to put my feet up or nap with my little one without feeling guilty has been a game-changer. Rest is not a luxury; it's a necessity for a happy, healthy motherhood.
Let Go of Perfectionism
In the early years, I was consumed by the idea of being the perfect mother.
I wanted everything to be spotless and under control.
This mindset only added to my stress and exhaustion. It took me years to realize that perfectionism was unattainable and unnecessary.
Now, I embrace the chaos. I’ve learned to let go of the need to control everything and be okay with a messy house. Asking for help when needed and communicating my needs has made my life much more manageable and enjoyable.
Make Myself a Priority
For a long time, I put everyone else’s needs before my own. I didn’t take time for myself, and as a result, I was always tired and depleted.
When I went back to work, when Lily was six months old, it gave me an unexpected opportunity to prioritize myself.
The train rides to work allowed me to read or simply relax. I enjoyed teaching classes and socializing, which helped me feel nourished and fulfilled.
These small acts of self-care were crucial. Nowadays, I make sure to carve out time for myself, whether it’s practicing a short yoga sequence, reading a book, or just sitting in quiet. Self-care is vital for our well-being and our ability to care for others.
Ask for Help
During my second pregnancy, the pandemic hit, and I lost my job. We were confined to our apartment with a toddler, and I took no time for myself. The stress of losing my job and the anxiety of a new baby on the way compounded my exhaustion.
It wasn't until I started my coaching training that I realized the importance of asking for help.
Now, I’m not afraid to reach out. I ask for help from my partner, family, and friends. Building a support system has been essential in managing the demands of motherhood and maintaining my sanity.
Stop Comparing Myself to Others
Mindful Scrolling
In the early days, I would scroll through social media and compare myself to other mothers who seemed to have it all together. This only heightened my feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. I’ve since learned to curate my social media feeds to include accounts that inspire and uplift me rather than those that trigger negative feelings.
Mindful scrolling has made a significant difference in my mental health.
Instead of comparing myself to others, I connect with mothers who share similar experiences and challenges. This has fostered a sense of community and support, which is invaluable.
Embracing the Journey
These changes have brought more peace and enjoyment to my motherhood journey. While it is still tiring, the smiles on my daughters’ faces, the hugs, and the experiences we create together make it all worth it.
I am growing, learning, and improving myself like never before, becoming a better person for them and for myself. It’s hard work, but it’s incredibly fulfilling.
Motherhood is a journey of constant growth and adaptation. By resting more, letting go of perfectionism, making myself a priority, asking for help, and mindfully navigating social media, I’ve found a balance that allows me to thrive and truly enjoy this magical journey.
“If you’re feeling overwhelmed or burnt out, know that it’s okay to make changes. Prioritize yourself, seek support, and embrace the imperfect beauty of motherhood. You deserve to thrive, not just survive. Join our community at The Magic of Motherhood and rediscover the empowerment, joy, and profound love that comes with being a mother. Together, let’s unlock the magic of motherhood.”
With love and support,
