Embracing the Journey:
Overcoming Mum Guilt
Motherhood is a beautiful, transformative journey filled with moments of joy, love, and fulfillment. Yet, alongside these magical moments,
many mothers experience the heavy burden of mum guilt
—a pervasive feeling that they are not doing enough or not doing things "right." This guilt often arises despite their best efforts and the reality that they have done nothing wrong.
“Mum guilt is a universal experience that affects mothers at all stages of their journey, particularly in the early years. It is driven by the unrealistic expectations placed upon us by society, media, and sometimes even ourselves. ”
We strive to meet these impossible standards, often at the cost of our own well-being and happiness.
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Society often expects us to return to our pre-pregnancy bodies and routines just weeks after welcoming a new life into the world. The truth, however, is that a woman's body undergoes significant changes during pregnancy and childbirth, and recovery takes time. Studies suggest that it can take up to three years for a woman’s body to recover its hormonal balance after birth, and in some cases, it can take as long as seven years. Despite this, many mothers are expected to return to work after just 12-16 weeks, functioning as if nothing monumental has happened.
The Impossible Standards We Set
The pressure to meet these unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of exhaustion, frustration, and overwhelming guilt. Mothers often feel guilty for being tired, for not keeping up with household chores, for not fully enjoying motherhood, and for needing time for themselves. And when they finally do take some time for self-care, they often feel guilty for leaving their baby.
Does any of this resonate with you, dear friend?
If so, I hear you. I have been there too, deep in the trenches of mum guilt, to the point of burnout.
I stopped doing anything for my own benefit and pushed myself to keep up with an endless to-do list, even when I was completely exhausted. This relentless pursuit of perfection robbed me of the joy of motherhood and left me feeling angry, anxious, and inadequate.
Remember this: "
“You are exactly what your child needs. You are enough.”
Finding a Way Out
The good news is that there is a way out of this vicious cycle. Here are a few strategies that helped me overcome mum guilt and reclaim my joy in motherhood:
Say No:
As a chronic people pleaser, learning to say no was one of the biggest lessons I had to learn. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being.
Let Go of Perfectionism: Embrace the concept of "good enough." It’s perfectly fine to order takeaway or have toys scattered around the house. Letting go of perfectionism allows you to focus on what truly matters.
Set Boundaries:
Be clear about your limits and what is acceptable for you. Understand the difference between your own expectations and those imposed by others.
Rest: Make rest a priority. Instead of using every spare moment to catch up on chores, allow yourself to rest when your little one is napping. Rest is essential for your physical and emotional recovery.
“To the world, you are a mother. To your family, you are the world.”
Embracing Self-Compassion
Remember, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and to ask for help. Motherhood is a journey, not a destination, and it’s important to give yourself grace along the way. By acknowledging and addressing mum guilt, you can create a more nurturing and joyful experience for both yourself and your family.
At The Magic of Motherhood,
I am here to support you through this journey. This community is dedicated to helping mothers like you find balance, joy, and empowerment in every aspect of motherhood. Together, we can break free from the chains of mum guilt and embrace the magic of motherhood with open hearts and minds.
If you’ve found yourself nodding along to this post, know that you are not alone. Reach out, share your experiences, and let’s support each other in reclaiming our motherhood journey. You deserve to thrive, dear Mama. Let’s do this together.
