Letting Go of “Back to Normal”:
A Mother’s Guide to True Recovery
Society often praises new mothers for how quickly they “bounce back”—whether that means slipping into pre-pregnancy jeans, getting back to work, or simply behaving like nothing life-altering has happened. But there’s a truth about motherhood we rarely hear: A woman’s body, mind, and spirit are transformed by the experience of becoming a mother. And those changes need time—real, compassionate time—to process and heal.
Studies even show that a mother’s body and hormones may take between two and eight years to fully adjust after giving birth.
Yes, years—not weeks or months.
Let’s dive into why this idea of “bouncing back” isn’t just impractical but can be profoundly damaging and what it really means to heal after bringing new life into the world.
My Journey with the “Bounce Back” Pressure
When my first daughter, Lily, was born, I had a brief leave before heading back to work when she was just six months old. Each afternoon, my heart ached as I left her; I felt like I was supposed to be home with her, especially when she was so little. But I found that teaching yoga, connecting with students, and even the quiet minutes I got to myself on the train brought me a sense of calm and reconnection with myself. I was more than “just a mom,” and that small space each day helped ground me in that reality.
It wasn’t until my second postpartum experience, though, that I truly understood the importance of balance. During the pandemic, I lost my full-time yoga job and decided to stay home to focus entirely on motherhood. There was no pressure to return to “normal,” but the isolation and lack of social interaction soon took a toll.
I found myself feeling cut off from the world and placing unrealistic expectations on myself to be the “perfect mom.”
This time of intense dedication to motherhood, without the outlets I had during my first postpartum experience, left me realizing that healing is so much more than the absence of physical demands or routines; it’s about creating sustainable rhythms that allow us to be nourished in every part of ourselves.
Why We Need to Redefine Postpartum Recovery
Motherhood changes us forever. Physically, our bodies are stretched, reshaped, and often carry new aches and pains that linger far beyond the typical recovery timelines. Emotionally, the demands of caring for a newborn are intense, and the hormonal fluctuations alone are enough to make anyone feel vulnerable and unsure. The “bounce-back” pressure dismisses these real, valid challenges and minimizes the depth of transformation that happens after birth.
If we redefine what postpartum recovery means, we can embrace a more compassionate approach. Here are three ways to support yourself in this season of motherhood without trying to meet unrealistic expectations.
3 Tips to Release the Pressure of “Bouncing Back”
Redefine Recovery on Your Terms
Rather than focusing on “getting back” to something, set small, nurturing goals that allow you to grow into who you are becoming.
Your healing journey is unique, and there is no set timeline. It’s okay to be a work in progress, especially as you adjust to this new stage of life. Trust your instincts and create a rhythm that honors the changes you’ve experienced.
Prioritize Tiny Moments of Self-Care
Postpartum self-care doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Finding moments to breathe deeply, enjoy a cup of tea, or stretch can be profoundly grounding.
These small acts of kindness for yourself can provide little bursts of energy and joy without adding pressure to do “more.” For me the self-care routine started with breathing and gentle stretching in the bed while my little ones were sleeping next to me.
Seek Connection Over Comparison
Surrounding yourself with supportive mothers or communities who embrace the true postpartum journey can be incredibly affirming.
Every mother’s journey is unique, and it’s essential to find people who uplift and remind you that your path doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. When we connect with others who value truth over perfection, we can release the need to “keep up” and focus on our individual healing. At first I joined a couple of Facebook Groups, but in the past year I started to socialize in person as well, and I can´t describe how healing it is to be heard and understood without judgment and with full support.
Embracing a New Narrative: Taking the Time You Need
Motherhood doesn’t require us to erase the journey we’ve taken to get here. Let’s rewrite this story that says we need to “bounce back” as if nothing happened. You are healing, your spirit is evolving, and your journey is uniquely yours. Take the time you need. Honor those quiet moments, let go of the pressure to return to an old version of yourself, and know that who you are becoming is worthy of all the love and time you can give.
As mothers, we’re often our own harshest critics, holding ourselves to impossible standards. But here’s the truth: through every stage, you are doing beautifully. Your journey may not be perfect, but it’s real, raw, and worthy of every ounce of grace. Let’s support each other in finding healing that isn’t rushed, that allows us to grow, and that honors both the beauty and complexity of motherhood.
So, if you’ve ever felt the pressure to bounce back after birth, know you’re not alone. Your journey is one of resilience, and together, we can redefine what it truly means to thrive in motherhood. 💖
Have you experienced the pressure to bounce back after birth? Share your story in the comments below, and let’s support one another on this journey!
With love and support,
