The Importance of Quality Time
as a Couple After Kids
Balancing couple time
after having kids is no easy feat, but it's truly worth the effort. When children are very young, it can be even more challenging—especially with little ones who are very attached to their mothers.
Our second daughter, Aina, was so attached to me that until she was about 20-22 months old, I couldn't leave her without her crying. Consequently, I hardly ever left her side unless it was an emergency.
During that period, the burnout and overwhelm from caring for two very young children put me on autopilot.
Everything not related to taking care of the kids fell by the wayside. Social activities, personal interests, and, unfortunately, time with my partner were neglected. My life revolved entirely around the needs of my children, leaving little room for anything else.
As time passed
and I began to heal from the intense exhaustion, I felt a renewed desire to socialize, go out, and most importantly, spend quality time with my partner without the kids.
The spark to reconnect was reignited. I craved those precious moments of togetherness, away from the chaos and responsibilities of parenting. These moments became essential for my well-being and for maintaining the strength of our relationship.
It's not just about
finding a babysitter or scheduling a date night—though those are important steps. It's about acknowledging and nurturing the bond that first brought you together.
Early parenthood is a time of profound change, and it can strain even the strongest relationships. Fathers may feel left out, and mothers can become so immersed in the early motherhood bubble that everything else stops existing for them.
Why Couple Time is Essential
Strengthening the Bond: Quality time helps keep the connection between partners strong, fostering love and support. It reminds both partners of the love that started their family in the first place. Without this connection, it’s easy to drift apart under the weight of daily responsibilities.
Emotional Recharge: Spending time together provides a much-needed emotional recharge, helping both partners feel valued and appreciated. It’s an opportunity to share feelings, support each other, and enjoy each other's company without distractions.
Modeling a Healthy Relationship: It sets a positive example for children about the importance of nurturing relationships. Kids learn a lot from observing their parents, and seeing a strong, loving relationship can influence their future relationships positively.
Navigating the early parenthood phase isn't easy, but carving out time for each other can make a world of difference.
Whether it's a date night, a quiet evening at home, or simply a heart-to-heart conversation, investing in your relationship aids not only your well-being but also that of your whole family.
“In the end, the best gift you can give your children is a strong relationship between their parents.”
Practical Steps to Prioritize Couple Time
Plan Ahead: Plan regular date nights or couple activities. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—a simple walk in the park or a coffee date can do wonders.
Block time in your calendar: Once you have an activity planned, schedule in your calendar. Block the time and treat it like the most important work meeting.
Involve Support Systems: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends. Trusted babysitters or family members can give you the break you need.
Create Small Rituals: Find small ways to connect daily. It could be a nightly chat after the kids are asleep, a morning coffee together, or a shared hobby.
Communicate Openly: Keep the lines of communication open. Discuss your needs and desires with your partner to ensure you both feel heard and valued.
Final Thoughts
To all the overwhelmed parents out there, remember that your relationship deserves attention too. Whether it’s a quiet evening at home, a walk in the park, or a simple coffee date, make time for each other.
It won’t always be easy, and sometimes it might seem impossible, but it’s worth every effort. Your relationship is the foundation upon which your family is built—nurture it, cherish it, and let it thrive.
If you’re currently feeling overwhelmed by the demands of parenthood and find it hard to make time for your relationship, remember this: taking care of your relationship is taking care of your family.
Here’s a small, realistic step you can take today
plan just one hour this week for you and your partner. It might seem small, but it’s a start. And sometimes, that’s all you need to rekindle the connection and remind each other that you’re in this together.
With love and support,
