Life lessons

learned through Motherhood

In the journey of motherhood,

we often find ourselves navigating through a myriad of challenges, triumphs, and profound lessons. Each experience molds us, teaching us invaluable insights that shape not only our roles as mothers but also our identities as individuals.

In this reflection, I invite you to explore some of the transformative lessons I've encountered along this journey, lessons that have reshaped my perspective and enriched my life in unexpected ways.

Embrace Imperfection

I have been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember. Accepting good enough and letting go of perfectionism was a tough yet very liberating lesson I learnt. 

Once I stopped holding myself to unrealistic expectations my life got so much easier and the daily stress reduced significantly.

It's crucial to remember that everyone's journey is unique, with its own set of struggles.

Comparison, especially to idealized portrayals on social media, only adds to overwhelm. Embracing imperfection allows us to find beauty in authenticity. 

Self-Care as Sacred

After a burnout during my second pregnancy, I had to learn this lesson the hard way.
Self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for our well-being and ability to care for our families.

Selfcare is not only about spa days or full 60-minute-long yoga classes, but sometimes it can be as small as going for a walk on your own for 10-15 minutes or taking a hot shower.

By changing my mindset and prioritizing self-care in my daily routine, I became better equipped to be there for my loved ones.

In the beginning it was very challenging because there were months where I would hardly have any time on my own as my youngest all the time wanted mummy. 

I had to be very creative and mindful and often selfcare looked like a walk in the park with the dog and with my little one sleeping in the prom and just focusing on being able to spend time outside, soaking up the sun and taking deep breaths.

My other favorite routine was doing a few stretching exercises in the bed after I put the kids to sleep. There was some time when I could hardly leave the room because one of them would wake within 15-20 minutes, so instead I stayed there and, in the bed, did some stretching and deep breathing exercises or took my e-reader to enjoy a book. 

Setting Boundaries

Protecting ourselves by setting clear boundaries is vital. Whether it's establishing routines, honoring personal beliefs, or recognizing our limits, boundaries foster feelings of security and well-being.

Clear communication about our needs is essential, as expecting others to understand our struggles without expression can lead to unnecessary stress and frustration. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

For example, if you don’t want to be visited in the hospital or during the first weeks at home say so. If you don’t want your kid to be put in front of the screens while visiting family members or friends, say so. If you need help because you are feeling overwhelmed, definitely say so. 

Clear communication about how you can be supported is essential. Do not expect others to figure out your thoughts or wait for them to see that you are totally overwhelmed. 

It is a mistake I made myself. I would allow myself to go beyond being overwhelmed with all the tasks and choirs and expected others to see that I was at my limit and needed help.

For some reason I felt that if I asked for help, I was less valuable as a mother or a person. But then I would reach a point where I exploded and became irritated, stressed out and impatient with everyone around me.

Once I embraced that asking for help is a sign of self-respect and self-care it was easier to communicate my feelings and ask for help. 

The Power of Community

Especially nowadays we hold ourselves to impossible standards. We are mothers, professionals, wives, housewives, women, friends and many more, all at once. 

It’s ok not to be able to do everything.

It is an unrealistic expectation to be able to do it all on our own. Parenting is not a solo job. It takes a village to raise a child. Our ancestors knew it, we used to live in communities, generations living together helping each other out. 

Leadership

As mothers, we are influential role models for our children. Our actions and behaviors shape not only their present but also their future. By striving to be our best selves, pushing boundaries, and leading by example, we instil invaluable lessons in our children that will guide them throughout their lives.

Motherhood is one of the best opportunities for self-development and self-growth if you are conscious about it.  

Forgive yourself

Motherhood comes with its share of challenges, and no one is perfect. It's essential to acknowledge and learn from our mistakes, showing ourselves the same compassion we offer to others.

By forgiving ourselves, we model resilience and self-acceptance to our children, teaching them the power of grace and growth.

Not sure why, but as mothers we can be especially hard on ourselves and beat ourselves us for endless reasons like messy house, being impatience, not reacting to a situation as we should, being late, not being the perfect mums and so on. 

Is there anything for what you are being regularly distressed about? 

My number one worry is not reacting to situations as I should. When I am especially tired or my kids are trying my limits for too long, sometimes I lose my patience and I raise my voice. I really dislike it and as soon I catch myself being in this unpleasant situation I try to calm myself with a few deep breaths. 

I acknowledge to my kids that I made a mistake, I tell them I am sorry about it. I think it is also important to acknowledge to our kids that we are not perfect, we make mistakes. We say sorry and try better next time. 

Embrace Motherhood's Transformative Journey

Motherhood, with its trials and triumphs, serves as a profound catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery.

Through embracing imperfection, prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and fostering community, we not only navigate the complexities of parenthood but also unearth the depths of our own resilience and strength. Remember, forgiveness—both of others and ourselves—is integral to this journey. As we strive to lead by example and nurture the next generation, let us embrace the imperfect beauty of motherhood and the invaluable lessons it bestows upon us.

“What about you, dear reader?

Have you found yourself struggling to embrace imperfection or prioritize self-care in your journey of motherhood?
Do you have any experiences setting boundaries and asking for support that you’d like to share? ”

Remember, this space is for us to connect and learn from each other's experiences.

With much love,